The sad realization

Today I was on the arc trainer at the gym and a girl who was probably the same height as me came in. She had zero love handles, and the body I dream of. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to cry and as I type this, I am. I just can't get over how much my weight has truly affected every aspect of my life. I am down and out. I believe, this may be rock bottom. The worst thing is, I weighed less than I do right now when I was only 2 month post partum with the twins. How sad is that?? I mean, really. That is ridiculous. There is no reason I should weigh this much, feel this bad. Today is the beginning of my transformation. When I feel weak, I will come read this post. I cannot feel this way any longer. It isn't healthy and it is only hurting me. I have a short temper because I'm so down on myself. It isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to my family. I have to do this for them: for my sweet babies and my amazing husband. They need a happy, healhty momma and wife. And soon, they will have it! I MUST DO THIS!